Greetings and salutations! Please enjoy this selection from A Brief History of Space Cats, and the Care and Feeding Thereof by Sarah Ever. Written by the main character from Space Cats from Space, these entries form a resource for feline companions to help them ease the transition from cat “owner” to their true role as caretaker and, possibly, human slave. Please enjoy!
The process of starting a feline life over with a new caretaker.
“A cat has nine lives. For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays”
The Internet claims that’s an old English proverb, and I’m inclined to agree. You’ll be hard pressed to find someone who can actually admit to knowing a cat that has died and come back to life, as the proverb implies.
Then again, if you had proof that cats actually could have lifespans that rival, and even drastically exceed, that of humans, you might be loathe to admit it to a room full of scientists, too.
I don’t have emperical evidence on this, but it is known by many felines, and one night Clyde had too much nip. I’ll lay out the facts as he had done.
One, felines prefer to be alone when they die. If you’ve had cats, you may have experience in this. Farm cats will wander from the farm. House cats will escape out an opened door. But bodies are not always recovered. Where are all these mystery cats disappearing?
(If I may play Devil’s Advocate on this, felines are more likely to be thought as strays than canines, so cats that have passed will often be disposed of without attempting to locate their caretaker or family. However, this does not explain every instance.)
Two, many veterinarians have the abilities I gained accidentally. They will collude with the feline to relocate them away from a less than ideal residence, or from a caretaker that may be too elderly or otherwise unable to care for them further.
(Also, according to Pinky who joined Clyde’s nip party, some cats are just assholes. They’ll leave because they don’t like the food, they’re bored, or other trivial reasons.)
Three, Clyde can’t hold his nip. He stopped at two.